Life After the Death of Beloved Ones..

“It’s only when you grow up, and step back from him, or leave him for your own career and your own home—it’s only then that you can measure his greatness and fully appreciate it. Pride reinforces love.”

Margaret Truman

As I mentioned in my earlier blog that I will write about the life after the death, here I come with few things which I am convinced that these are matter-of-fact and happening. Opinion and Views differs from person to person. I read ones, “Truth is more than one”.

Life after the death of your beloved ones… The emotion gradually goes down as the days pass by but not the person from our heart or our memories with him or her.

The day my father expired was a fully emotional one for all of us. We came out with tears that remained in the body till date. After all, for all that he had given (he had given his life remember) we gave back only tears and reminiscences. The underlying truth is that only when a person dies we get into this act. Why cannot we apply the same when they are alive? Concerned tears for even somebody you don’t know or recollect the days with others, as memories would only suggest you have a life with some purpose.

As the days were moving and we the proud sons started performing the after-death rituals. Slowly the emotions were going down. It was not like what and how we were feeling on the day our father died. But we were rewinding the days and recollecting the memories of him. We spoke and spoke and spoke about him. We still have not seen the end of him and our memories with him.

We remember him everyday every minute. When we need to pay the phone bills, to check the bank accounts, when searching for some documents or in the need of some electrical items. Every minute is not an overstatement. But do we cry as we did on the day he left us and departed from this world? The answer is no. At least for this, people (Who always say (There is Nothing called God”) should start believe in the Super Power.

My father died few months ago, and yet when something happens to me or in my life, I talk to him secretly not really knowing whether he hears, but it makes me feel better to half believe it.”

I at times go back to the days of my life with my father. The times I shouted at him, discussed with him, confrontations, shown anger and needless to mention felt for him as I still do. Now if I sit and think all those I get a guilty feeling about myself. All of us commit the same mistake. All those were purely out of my love for him. But how a person will know that I am shouting at them because I love him. Would they? Nobody can. This is the mistake.

We all fail to show the humanity, kindness and affection on people when they are alive. After their death we sit and start rolling back ourselves to the memories on them.

I realised this mistake at least without more ado after my father’s death. It is such an important attitude or a character we need to have. Show your true affection when you have your beloved ones. You won’t feel bad about yourself after their death. The guilty feeling is what I am talking about here.

Even this is not a mistake purposely done. Till somebody dies or we see some death loss, we don’t really think and care about this state of a human being, “The Death”. At one point of time in our life we all will be in that bed. It’s a fact, which we don’t really realise.

So, I decided that I would not be thinking and feeling same way anymore after any death losses. Let be from any relationship from now on. As Robin S Sharma quotes lets have a life with purpose. Let us selflessly help others when we get the opportunity and to our possible limits by stretching to an extent where we will also be comfortable.

But remember, there is no point in hurting yourself to serve or help others.

I won’t suggest anybody to go out of their way to help others. You need to be practical when the time needs you to. You might have heard people saying “Present” is what you have in your hand. True. But think this also, Death. So think about this and in the present make your life valuable. Let it be a life with some purpose.

Let us live only with sweet memories of the beloved ones after their death. Let us not feel guilty anymore. Don’t feel bad that you have already finished half your life. You are still left with some good years to come. Make merry of those.

Just think, Would it not be a great feeling to say after a death loss that “I was a good part of his/her life”, “He/She liked me a lot”, “I am one his/her beloved”, “We sailed smooth throughout his/her lifetime”.

I am seeing such kind of person daily. Yes. It’s my mother. My uncle (passed away 10 years back) and my mom were leading the kind of life I am telling you whole of this article. I have not seen them fighting, confronting each other’s views till my uncle’s death. The best ever example of Sister-Brother relationship I have seen in my so far life.

It is very clear that soul is what counts and not the body. Body is just a place where the soul stays for sometime till it decides to get into another. Let us appreciate, love and show humanity on every other individual.

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2 Responses to Life After the Death of Beloved Ones..

  1. SamAruna says:

    Swamiji,

    You have nicely expressed the need for compassion, love and respect for other human beings.

    Life would be happier if we all follow that.

    We need to remember that when the person is alive one can always go back and say sorry and apologise for acts that might have hurt that other person.

    Most of the people do not do that. They get egoistic or they start believing that they were on the right side and so only the other person should come and apologise.

    They don’t realise that even if the other person was wrong, it would be still better to go and apologise and make the other person happy.

    And later on they keep repenting when the person is no more and hence there exists no chance exists for making amends for any act that might have hurt the person when he was alive.

    The key is in making amends for emotional bursts immediately without any ego.

    Do it today, tomorrow may never be there should be the motto!

    Best Regards
    R. Sathyamurthy
    Read my blog

  2. Anonymous says:

    You made me remember my beloved whom i lost 1 year back..i was in tears..but thankfully not that painless ones as …for whatever little time i was with him i was the best with him n he with me…
    You taught a very beautiful lesson for the youth of today…thanks.
    bhanu..

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